Gruesome Frights for Halloween Nights

This is a short excerpt of my all time favourite horror movie list - the actual list featuring about 573 films or more...

I just picked a few titles as I was afraid the more I thought about it the more the list might change and grow longer by the minute.

Maybe you'll find a movie that you haven't seen yet or maybe after reading this you'll want to see a film again that you haven't watched for longer - I'd be happy about both!

Botched

This is a film that defies categorisation.

It starts as a thriller with a heist gone wrong and now Ritchie (Stephen Dorff) gets another assignment from his boss (Sean Pertwee) to make up for his glitch. He’s supposed to steal an incredibly valuable golden cross from a skyscraper with the help of two stupid Russian mobsters.

Actually no big problem for a master thief like him, but what happens in the building is so gory, funny, unexpected and out of touch with the real world it has to be seen to be believed!! 

This is a rare little gem of a movie!

And I dare you to discover the “disco switch” - fucking hilarious!!

The Collector

Directed by Marcus Dunstan, who wrote some scripts for the Saw franchise and it clearly shows in this movie.

It’s about an ex- con who tried to go honest, but when his girlfriend tells him she’s in debt to a mobster he breaks into the villa of his employer as he knows the family has gone away. But once inside he finds out that he is not alone in the house and that there’s no way of getting out again.

Soon the sequel to The Collector called The Collection will be out and this is a good occasion to watch the first part again. 

Though the story may not always be logical (as in many horror movies) it has some really gruesome effects and many scenes with nail-biting suspense that made me hold my breath more than once!

Martyrs 

One of the great horror films that came out of France during the last few years!

A homage to Dario Argento it is definitely not for the faint hearted and many critics said it features too many unnecessary violence that is not related to the story which may be true and it’s sometimes really an ordeal to watch.

Nevertheless the story of a woman that was abducted as a girl and now seeks revenge on the people who did this to her is one of the most original, suspenseful and visually great movies of the last decade! 

Psycho  

Still one of the greatest and best psychological thrillers ever!!

They are just making a movie called Hitchcock about the making of the movie of Psycho (sorry, did that make your brain also spin a little?) and if I should ever meet Gus Van Sant he will get a decent beating from me for his abomination of a remake!

Back to Psycho – what can I say? That a black-and-white film from 1960 still has more suspense than many of today’s movies?

That Hitchcock’s fabulous cinematography still gets me all wet? (Mind you, he would have loved me saying that, the old chauvinist!) Anthony Perkins was the best choice ever to play Norman Bates and Hitchcock was surely way ahead of his time with this movie, just like he was with Frenzy. 
A true classic – the classic!

The Thing 

This John Carpenter (along with his Prince of Darkness and In The Mouth Of Madness) is still one of my all time favourite movies ever!

The claustrophobic setting in Antarctica around a team of scientists who get trapped at their base by an alien entity which leads to nobody trusting anyone anymore and the great actors make The Thing really worth watching over and over again.

And don’t forget the glorious effects (no CGI in sight) are still state of the art and simply awesome and make any creature lover salivate with delight!

The story is tight and there are scenes that still make me jump after seeing it many times – like the blood testing scene! 
A feast for every horror fan!

Deep Red

My favourite Dario Argento movie ever (though Suspiria is up there right with it) and why not indulge in this visually stunning masterpiece of cinema on Blu-Ray again? 

It’s a great story about a clairvoyant that senses a murder in the audience during her appearance and who gets brutally killed later the same night. A pianist (David Hemmings) witnesses the murder and tries to help but he’s too late and as he himself becomes a suspect he tries to solve the mystery. Profondo Rosso is the epitome of the aesthetics of murder and clearly shows what Argento used to be capable of, the cinematography alone gets me a hard-on each time! Put that together with one of the best soundtracks ever by the famous Goblin and you have a truly cinematic masterpiece!

Re-Animator
The dream team of horror, producer Brian Yuzna and director Stuart Gordon, brought to screen Re-Animator, loosely based on a H.P. Lovecraft story, and up to this day Herbert West is one of the most loveable and loathsome villains, a character so incredibly well brought to life by Jeffrey Combs.
When medical student Dan Cain takes in his new wealthy roommate Herbert West his life will change forever as West will prove that what is dead doesn't have to stay dead and soon the neon green fluid is injected and blood starts squirting and the entrails start flying in this ultra gory classic!
Also very memorable appearances are by the late David Gale as the creepy Dr. Hill and for all the guys out there the wonderful boobs of Barbara Crampton are on display quite a lot!
Re-Animator is one of the goriest, funniest and most deviant horror movies of the 80's!

Trick’r’Treat  

One of the best Halloween related films ever, though sadly I always find that not many people have heard of it! 

It combines four bloody and surprising anthologies all wrapped up on Halloween eve and along with a wonderful set desgin it brings you many known actors, among them Anna Paquin and Brian Cox, undead kids, a creepy lil’ fucker called Sam who has some very special treats with him and an entertaining 90 mins. of some nice gore and fun!

Halloween 

The title itself! The original! Carpenter directs! The great Donald Pleasence! Michael Myers! Haddonfield! – ‘Nuff said!

Wishing you a happy, gory and blood-red Halloween and maybe you should check your sweets before eating them! Just saying...

Visiting the ossuary in Sedlec

Have you read “The Black Angel” by John Connolly? No? Shame on you then! I hope after you’ve read this blog you’ll be running to the nearest bookshop or your keyboard and order the book right away!

Connolly made the ossuary even more famous after setting a key scene towards the ending of “The Black Angel” there, which features his central characters Charlie Parker, Angel & Louis and one of his most memorable villains yet, the sinister Brightwell. I re-read the scene before going to Sedlec and I even watched the video again where John introduces the ossuary so wonderfully to his readers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvzqu5Td9aE

You can also find a great blog entry and much more background info on the ossuary by John Connolly about Sedlec on his website: http://www.johnconnollybooks.com/journalism_sedlec.php

Sedlec is close to Kutna Horá and only a little more than 70 kilometres, about an hour and ten minute drive away from the beautiful city of Prague.

You can reach Sedlec from Prague either by train/bus although I’ve been told that the announcement and signs at the train/bus stations are all in Czech and so I passed on that very cheap alternative.

Sedlec is also enclosed in many daylong tourist excursions (about 7-8 hours time) which include some more places in and around Kutna Horá and cost about 50-70 Euros but considering I had just spent 8 hours on the bus two days before and had to do so again the next day a bus ride was not an option for me.

So I decided to splurge on a private ride to Sedlec with a driver from the hotel.

My close friend Glynis commented our driver looked like the Czech Richard Gere from the KGB. We have to be entirely grateful to him as he saved us from a car crash reacting like what would have done James Bond proud as a fucking douchebag almost crashed into us without looking where he was going.

We arrived at the ossuary a little after 11 am and the sun was still unsure if it should continue fighting with the heavy clouds or give up entirely for the day.

So the scenery at the cemetery and the church was still a little eerie as I entered the doors and went down the few steps leading into the heart of the ossuary itself.

Actually seeing is believing, but at the first impression it was still hard to take in that the huge amount of bones down there had once really all belonged to human beings and were not only props on a film set.

When you are standing in the centre you are welcomed by the huge and extraordinary chandelier made entirely out of bones – every orthopaedist’s wet dream! Four pillars for candles with skulls encircle the chandelier on the ground and I was a little disturbed to see cherubs residing on the tops - not by the skulls themselves. 

Now some may think that it is obscene, deviant or unnatural to display human remains like that. I think it was a wonderful way to avoid disposing of the bones and I couldn’t help admire the creativity and the elaborate way the bones had been arranged by Frantisek Rint, a local woodcarver, who had really let his imagination run wild as he had used his skills for an entirely different material.

Surely one of the highlights of the exhibition is the crest of arms of the Schwarzenberg family that had employed Rint in the year 1870 in the first place.

Unfortunately, however, the quiet and unusual place turned into some kind of a fairground when around noon hordes of tourists started streaming into the place and the unique and peculiar mood was immediately destroyed.

Another tourist questioned me if I found the place eerie and if I could feel the presence of ghosts there. He was a little disappointed when I told him the only thing eerie for me were the many tourists and that I don’t believe in ghosts - poor chap. Next time I’ll lie just for humanitarian reasons.

The bone church of Sedlec is really a unique place and if you think about going to Prague you should spare a few hours to make the trip to Sedlec – it is truly worth it!

Just take my advice and make it as early in the morning as possible to avoid being run over by either crowds of people and/or prams.

You can find more information about Sedlec on Wikipedia and of course the official website.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sedlec_Ossuary 

http://www.sedlecossuary.com/ 

Frankfurt Book Fair 2012 - There is still hope for humanity!

The numerous and vast halls of the Frankfurt Book Fair had once again opened their doors last week from 10^th until 14^th of October and it is the very event that the whole literary world has on their agenda.

Guest country in 2012 was New Zealand and they had really created a magical environment and put up a wonderful programme. They even had a waterfall highlighted with the distant sound of thunder in their pavillion.

New Zealand presented, amongst other things, authors like Paul Cleave, Greg McGee (pen name Alix Bosco), Paddy Richardson and Chad Taylor, an overview of 30 Years of New Zealand comics discussed by Colin Wilson, Roger Langridge, Dylan Horrocks and Greg Broadmore, and the guys from WETA-Workshop, to show the visitors that New Zealand is a very creative country indeed and beyond just providing ideal locations for Hobbit based movies.

The Kiwis are wonderful people and I am already convinced it is also a great country but sorry, I don’t think I’ll ever make the 28 hour flight there – well, that is unless you do to me what they always did with B.A. from the A-Team.

There were far too many events during those few days and to attend even half of them would have meant scattering yourself into atoms all over the place.

Among the most coveted events were of course the author signings. I once saw a queue from a publisher’s booth that lead halfway down the huge hall and wondered to whom it would lead and it was Uli Stein, Germany’s famous comic artist. His panels are so incredibly funny and it always strikes me as odd when I realise they are not available in English as I think his humour would definitely work in any language.

There were the inevitable biographies from celebs and wannabe celebs, a fact the British also know only too well, and I was actually surprised to find the “auto”biography of Lothar Matthaeus, an ex-soccer player from Germany - given the fact that he can’t even properly speak his own language I wondered who had written this biography for him.

The women’s spanking-and-wanking literature “Shades of Grey” (only fuck knows why they gave it an English title for the German market and left out the “50”…) had a huge display at the book fair and once I heard a woman behind me admitting to her friend she still had to read the book and I was about to turn around and say “Don’t bother!” but decided against it. Others should suffer the way I have, too!

I kind of miss the back programmes of the publishers on display as it used to be years ago. It always gave you a chance to browse through a bigger choice of titles like in a huge library. Nowadays it’s almost all about the new publications and therefore the books to discover at the publisher’s booths are limited.

For me it was great to see there are still huge varieties of thrillers to be discovered, even in my personal favourite category, the psychological thriller.

I was even lucky enough to meet author Paul Cleave from New Zealand, whose very dark and extremely grim thrillers are amongst my favourite books ever and I will put up an author portrait and an interview with Paul on this blog soon!

Also the encounter with two of Germany’s greatest psychological thriller writers, Wulf Dorn and Arno Strobel, was a real treat for me and I am actually disappointed to learn that while their books are doing great in other countries like Italy, France or Spain neither of their books are available in English, which is probably owed to the fact that the UK/US market has already huge quantities of that category – but I can tell you, you’re missing out on some great stuff here.

Truth be told, the book fair during the weekend is anything but relaxing as masses of people are cramped in the halls and oxygen starts to become scarce from 11 am already so needless to say a former career in American Football is actually helpful to move around there. For those suffering from claustrophobia I will post the appropriate short video from the book fair for you, gives you an impression what it was like, though fortunately not everywhere and all the time during the fair.

It really made me unspeakably happy to see so many young people amongst the visitors during the weekend, kids from 12 years and up hanging around with their friends, groups of Manga fans many dressed in colourful Cosplay gear and a huge percentage of the visitors seemed to be in their twenties and thirties.

Girls, if you’re looking for a sophisticated and good-looking guy I can tell you there were lots of very cute men from 20-40 at the book fair – erm, not that I have noticed or anything!!

I realised that if there are so many people interested in the written word and printed books in general there is still hope for humanity yet!!

How I met a stalker

I’m sure you’ve all heard and read about stalkers once or few times in your life. Mostly you hear the word stalker mentioned when they keep annoying and even threatening Hollywood stars and some of the very persevering ones have even ended up in jail.

And, of course, for most people who read, Annie Wilkes instantly comes to mind, the mad fan thought up by Stephen King that was so perfectly brought to life on screen by the great Kathy Bates in “Misery”.

I think there is a fair share of writers who have had experience with very devoted fans that stalk their favourite author – I like to “stalk” my fave writers, too, though I am quite a watered down example as I am happily married.

Normally it takes a lot to shake me but I must admit I was taken aback and also a little scared when I saw a stalker close up and “in action mode” for the first time a few days ago.

I won’t mention if the stalker was male or female and therefore will sometimes just use the word “it”, nor will I tell on which author the aim was but it was surely scary to witness the situation.

It all started when friends of mine and I went to an author event.

Three writers were introducing and reading from their new books, there was a moderator asking questions and as the authors were all English speaking there was a professional actor who wonderfully read excerpts of the books in German.

When I arrived with my friends there was a nicely mixed crowd already, young and old, stylish and normal and – the stalker!

All three of us practically uttered the same word when we had sat down and stuck our heads together as it had been so fucking obvious! Unfortunately I can’t give a more detailed description, fact is it would have even been clear to Stevie Wonder.

When the event started I became totally creeped out witnessing how the stalker didn’t leave “its” object of desire out of “its” sight for a second, like a predator who was afraid his prey would vanish into thin air if blinking.

Strangely enough I had just read a book about amorous paranoia weeks before and so the stalker became an object to study for me, too.

No matter who of the three authors spoke, the glassy eyes of the stalker never left their special one and after finding it funny the first few minutes it became annoying.

Also spooky to witness was the filming part that started when mentioned author was speaking about her/his new book as he/she was zoomed in as much as zooming was possible – probably for the video to be watched over and over again by the stalker for 657 times in a row…

At the book signing afterwards we waited and talked to people from the publisher while the stalker waited ‘til everybody had had their books signed and then sat down beside the author.

The stalker forced "its" cell phone number on the writer and even offered the author to stay at “its” hotel next time – so much for fucking obvious and creepy.

Needless to say the eerie shadow was back the next day, keeping in close proximity to the object of desire, this time standing right next to the author and while she/he signed books “it” kept taking about 289 close up photos, almost shoving a camera in the writer’s face and “it” seemed entirely oblivious to the fact that other people were even approaching the table who wanted to have a book signed and a short chat with the author, too.

I couldn’t help it as the song text “You are an obsession, you’re my obsession, who do you want me to be to make you sleep with me?” from “Obsession” by Animotion from the 80’s started playing in my head over and over again.

Being stalked was surely not very funny at all for the author as one could tell it was an irritating situation to say the least.

And it made me think about all the men and woman, normal people and celebrities, who have suffered because of a stalker. I have utter compassion for all of them.

I can only halfway begin to understand what it must feel like to be the target of a stalker and I think if I ever should become fucking rich and famous a stalker would be the very last accessory I’d ever like to attract.

Conventional books vs. e-books

Unfortunately I haven’t been present at the panel at this year’s "Theakston Old Peculier Crime Writing Festival" at Harrogate that later became known to many attendees as „Tossergate“ but I have talked to many writers and readers about the general matter afterwards.

I learned that a certain Mr. L freely admitted to having created countless bots that shamelessly help advertise his books. The fact that he himself is actually creating the buzz and praise about his own writing made me quite sick and it also made me want to hit him in the face.

I think lots of very talented authors tend to not do enough self advertisement mostly because there is always this insecurity that they don’t think of themselves as good enough but it’s 'nice' to learn that some people think they are the cream!

I’ve also read and heard about people being paid for giving great reviews - that is a fucking disgrace and shows how much the author is really worth – not good enough for an honest review of one fan who hasn’t been bought!

No matter how you ever try to put it – it’s fucking cheating and there you have it!

I think it’s time a reader like me should have her say in the discussion about that.

First of all, yes, I am one of the readers that check out reviews of books on blogs and also a lot on amazon websites, so if some readers give five star reviews I surely tend to believe them. I also tend to give a five star review when I’ve found a great read as I always want others to read it and I am always hoping that it will help the author to get a much deserved boost in sales for the book.

If I ordered a book that has been reviewed as great by three or four people and then find out the book is utter shite then I might be so mad to just go and give it a one star review just for revenge. Usually I tend only to review books that I really liked because I'd rather not give someone a bad review but in that case I’d really make an exception! I also find it terrible that some people give authors very bad reviews just because of a personal dislike or feud with that author – fucking unfair and shows a very gutless and despicable person!

Then there was the ever present „conventional“ books against e-books discussion... I grew up loving books and comics and I am really a fan of new technology, loving my laptop, my iPhone and the internet in general. However, I just can’t get myself to embrace this Kindle thingy nor do I think I’ll ever own one (My usual quote for Kindle is „Kindle sucks cocks in hell“ and that’s it...) But I understand there is a ever growing community of readers that embrace their Kindles as their new best friend and I can accept that.

Talking about e-publishing in general, the thing that makes many (if not most) published writers so angry is that it gives every wannabe writer ’anal’phabet the chance to hack down some bullshit and to publish it with just a few clicks and to simply advertise themselves as the next big thing in writing.  Also, if you offer something for only 0,99 or 1,99 cents/pence there’ll always be enough compulsive buyers just clicking to buy it just because of the sake of clicking it, just giving in to a reflex and not a conscious decision and certainly not because it’s an especially good book! And I think a lot of those e-books will just land in a library, will be forgotten a moment later and will never be read at all.

I am not saying that all of the writers that embrace e-publishing are crap, there was even quite some praise for some authors that had gone down that path that were present at Harrogate where nobody understood why they hadn’t landed a book publishing deal yet.

On the website of a certain Mr. L it shows that there are 34 titles that Mr. L has coughed up so far, sorry, I meant written, and the fact that he only started writing when he was at university and that he is not 92 years yet makes me question how much heart, time and research he really invests into his work... Maybe I am just mistaken and he is much much better than all my favourite writers who haven’t produced such an impressive catalogue of work yet... (yeah, sure!)

Then there’s the matter of e-book piracy that I think is really the worst kind of piracy. Why? Well, think about it: If a music label thinks they should pay Robbie Williams 60 Million for three albums then that is their problem and surely not worth it! When the film industry is planning 150 Millions for a blockbuster and happily pays Tom Cruise 20 or even more Millions for the movie they are just arseholes!

No movie would ever get made without an idea from an author/writer and let’s face it, those creative minds are the most needed pieces in the puzzle (everybody can do a producer’s job and snort coke and shag wannabe actresses) but unfortunately those creators of dreams are also the most underpaid category.

Tom Cruise has to work for his pay for about 2-3 months and afterwards has to do some flying around the world for advertising his movie, phew, poor man, what a demanding job, an ounce of pity for him all the way!

An author has to come up with the idea for a book out of thin air (no, there isn’t actually a section at a department store where you can just buy ideas for stories from a shelf) and of course the readers want the story to be gripping, chilling, funny, spectacular, great, believable, conclusive, gruesome – and that takes time, a whole lot of bloody time! The manuscripts get worked over many times by the authors themselves, editors and lots of more people involved in the process of bringing a novel to life.

And for all that work people don’t want to pay more? Just 1,99 or if it has to be maybe 2,99? A new Blu-Ray DVD costs up to 19,99 and a new music album around 14,99. Where’s the fucking fairness in that? Would you work a fucking year or even more and get paid so less for so much work? You’d shoot your fucking boss - that’s what most would do!

And a book is a companion that takes you by the hand and leads you to strange and most wonderful places! Compared to watching movies (and I really do love movies) it is the reader’s mind and their fantasy that makes the characters in written stories come to life and the events in the book unfold. Stories lift you up through sad times and sickness, they take you on an adventurous trip when you’re in desperate need of distraction and they lift your mood when you desperately need a laugh.

So, tell me, isn’t all of this worth paying some extra bucks!?

Books should be treasured and loved and be rewarded with a special place on a shelf. And there is nothing better than owning a hardcover edition signed by the author.

Like John Waters once said: If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ’em!“ A wise man indeed!